5:49 am

niggas is broke, mentally, emotionally and physically

streets are empty, without value, yet overpopulated

poverty the whore we been riding for days

violence the nigga that be getting the babes

beaten down till the blood blinds our eyes

living life too harsh but hey it’s all normal shit now

watch us cum and ruin a whole other generation

will I have to die to win this fight?

do I have the might to take this fight?

does he have the mind, and the crowd goes wild

jungle laws, anything to survive

Christianity practiced with one closed eye

power to the people we scream every 4 years

still ain’t giving power to the people, hear that gen tear

rubbing down to lift themselves higher, forgetting the wear and tears, relationships detiorating

hate blooming in the dark, grind it and poison your neighbors

we all broken from different sides, having mixed reflections

suffering from viral greed, no one to mine our diamonds



So it’s 4:20 am (honestly!!!) and I’m up still watching tv,

I’m watching an episode of The Simpsons, (they play it all night on FOX channel, DSTV) and this episode is so lit.

its about Homer getting over his hate for Marge’s sisters but the side story (as there usually are) is about Bart learning ballet.

At the end of the episode he performs in his schools program, with a mask on. As he performs everyone is amazed and falling in love with him, so he feels confident enough to take his “mask off” 🦅.

So shit hits the fan,

Bart: [thinking] They love me; I’m accepted. I don’t need this mask any more. [out loud] Behold, the masked dancer is me, Bart! [removes mask; everyone gasps] It is I who have won your acclaim.
Jimbo: Bart does ballet!
Kearney: He dances like girls!
Nelson: Ha ha!
Bart: Go ahead and laugh. But I took a chance and did something I wanted to do. And if that makes me a sissy, well, then…I guess I’m a sissy.
Jimbo: [pause] He’s a sissy! Let’s rush him.

Thats how fragile we are,

That’s how scared we are,

That’s how much we hate ourselves,

That we’ll rather take him down than lift him up.

So Bart’s running away and has to jump over a really huge gap, he thinks his ballet skills should be good enough for the leap. He ends up falling and hurting himself.

Cause that’s how shit works, In the real world being different would often get you hurt (whether it be religion, race, sex,).

So if you want to fight for who you are, buckle up.

I’m trying to find a quote I saw earlier but can’t, something about “writing to become the person I am and how writing makes him the person he is”

I pray by writing out my opinions on this private diary I will be able strong enough to stand by them and give myself courage.



Sometimes darkness offers new light on its own

The darkness is cold, warming and homely

The shadows are living,  taking a form and stand

Darkness has never felt complete

Bringing rest like nothing else

Swallowing and embodying, giving ridicule to all actions

Hiding the fakes and the realest

Begging for light to overcome the uncertainties darkness carries

I’ve seen pictures brightest in the darkness

Guided by the stars

My senses awake.




Do men feel lonely
Are we too proud to seek comfort
Do we hide our tears in boastful acts
Or show our pride in our violent nature
Does the father make the man
How about the fatherless boys
Heard the woman defines the man
But are women actually given that power
Back to the loneliness
Do the roars of other men give us warmth
Yet it is a crime to seek comfort in a brother
Do we shed our tears on the breasts of our women
Yet strike them cause they see our weakness
If I strike myself down I’ve played the cowards game
So I live to beat the cowards shame
Left to seek refuge in myself, knowing I am sufficient
Still my heart feels like it’s missing a part in another.